Want to make space to dream in the New Year?

Let go of the time-sucking vampires and focus on how you want to feel

L.L. Kirchner

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Photo by Sebastian Pociecha on Unsplash

We make resolutions to wrest control from life. These grand pronouncements — no more sugar from here on out—signal our dreams, whether that’s for overall health, spiritual ambitions, or professional goals.

Then life happens with its myriad time-suck temptations. And the worst seducers give you the gratification of crossing an item off the to-do list — I can work on my novel later, there’s a sale at the car wash. You’re being productive, but it’s a lie.

Over time, this created an enormous gap between my long-term goals— write that novel—and how I spend my time, chasing to-do list zero. Other than the vague dissatisfaction of not realizing my dreams, I was blissfully unaware that my actions were detracting from my dreams. Worst of all, no one was going to point out the disparity. No one’s going to discourage you from vacuuming, and some will actively vampire your time and energy. This dilemma had to be self-diagnosed, and what began as freewriting in my journal is now a workbook.

How this came about

On New Year’s Day 2016, my friend Emily and I were huddled together on a Florida beach, pens and journals in hand. By this time, I’d spent years chasing gurus and ashrams and healers, which I’ve written a whole book about, Blissful Thinking: A Memoir of Overcoming the Wellness Revolution

One of the chief discoveries of that journey was that I’d spent far too much time focused on what was wrong with me. I got far better results by focusing on what I was doing right. Yet there remained a schism between the life I was living and the life I wanted.

There on that beach, rather than focus on the things I wanted, I focused on the feelings and set an intention to move toward that. After all that chasing, my life changed rapidly.

Why take a year-end inventory?

You can forego the workbook and just have a think on your priorities. But often this ends up in the eat healthy pile as something you can do tomorrow. I had to see what I was doing that was working in order to do more of that.

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L.L. Kirchner

I write entertaining stories that sneak up on you. Florida Girls, my new novel, comes out May 28! Stay abreast of it all at IllBehavedWomen.com.